Dear 2011

Dear 2011,

I have a lot of hope for you. I wish you all the best. If possible, however, I would like to make some personal (extremely selfish – world peace will not be mentioned) requests, or demands, if you will. As such, 2011, I would like you to provide me with the following:

One girlfriend
– I’m not picky. The only requirements are that she be human, female and perfect.
The motivation to work
– I need to do some work this year, to make my masters a worthwhile project. As such, motivation will be imperative. At some point I’d like to have done an essay more than six hours before it’s due. Ambitious? Yes, but hopefully achievable.
Good judgment with my gambling
– 2010 treated me fairly well in my gambling. The last football season made me a fair few pennies, Germany’s fairly succesfful World Cup (which apparently wasn’t obvious to everyone beforehand) was profitable, and Torres failing to score so, so often has been nice. If 2011 could give me a big win, however, that would be a huge financial relief.
The Edgecliffe Cup
– Every year the philosophy department has a football match between the departments of Moral Philosophy and Logic & Metaphysics. Last year, despite scoring a hat-trick, my brave moral philosophers were defeated. 2011, sort that out.
Manchester United winning the league
If/When, Man United win the league, they will overtake Liverpool’s record for most championships won in English football, conclusively establishing their overall (and deserved) dominance. That’d be nice.

There are, of course, many other things I would like. However, if you could deliver these things, I would be most pleased. If, on the other hand, I am displeased with your compliance with my demands, I may have to leave, and the whole temporal system will suffer.

You have been warned.

Yours sincerely,

Joseph M. Slater CertNatSci, CertHum, MA (Hons) Esquire.